I could relate with this article when I read it, which is exactly why the title drew me in! My husband and I have very different work schedules and only get one full day together, free from work. It would be very easy for us to drift apart because of our schedules, if we didn't make it a point to eat dinner together and go to bed together.
On a day when he hasn't had a 12 hour shift, we love to cook together! It is fun to spend time doing something like cooking with each other, because we get to connect as we work toward a common goal (a delicious meal!) and get the satisfaction from making it ourselves. I highly recommend cooking with your spouse. Not only will they appreciate you more when you cook, but it just makes it more fun and hopefully more healthy!
On the other hand, after a long work day, it is hard to have the mental capacity to engage with one another in conversations deeper than, "Can you pass the ketchup?" So we usually watch a TV show together during dinner, allowing the tensions of the day to melt away.
Now this probably sounds boring or disconnected, but we all need time to decompress after work. And for us personally, with our limited amount of time together, we like to still be close and doing something together when we can. So we respect the decompression time and try not to overwhelm the other with questions or anymore work talk. After the tv show, we usually start to chat and my sweety helps me do the dishes and occasionally we will even walk the dogs together!
We do a lot of catching up while we go through our bedtime routines of showering, teeth brushing, etc. By then the tension from work is gone and we can talk about the day or even schedule a time that we need to make a big decision about something. (Don't try to make a big decision when everyone is tired or unprepared for it!)
My favorite way to end the evening is getting in bed together and reading a chapter from the same book (silently to ourselves) then sharing what we got out of it after. My husband will probably disagree about this being his favorite, but he can't deny we connect a lot when we do this. There is a lot to learn about each other and a lot to gain by understanding that we see things differently. AND THAT'S OK!! :)
Wow, my life looks so exciting when I read it! Haha ;) But it has truly been important for us on work nights to have a routine that allows us to be together and end the day together. We feel so much closer when we do anything from watching TV to cleaning up dinner together. Make it a point to find something you can enjoy together before bed. I am talking to married couples, so the something together can be any number of things!
I know this will probably change a lot once we have kids, so I apologize if I can't relate to you there. Hopefully I will still be writing when we have them and I can share my experiences with you then! In the meantime, feel free to share how you make a way connect with your spouse, with or without kids!